today i got a call that left me shaking in my knees and well just kind of shook me up. i didnt think it would but i know i am not strong enough to stand up and resist the temptation. i need prayer that i will find strength and fight the temptation and do whats right even though it tells me something else. i need to fight my lust and with my flesh because i know its weak and i need to fight to stay strong. i need to stay out of trouble and drama. i deserve someone better and if i stay on that course of action i will end up in destruction. i need my friends more than ever to fight him and fight my urges. i feel like he is a drug that i need detox from and friends help me fight this addiction. i need to kick this bad dirty habit. i need and i deserve sooo much better and i need to stay away from him like the plague. i thought mayb i could be friends with him but what was i thinking…. thats like making a deal with the devil. i dont think so. i need to say enough is enough. aww why does it  feel so hard when its so simple to stay away and dont contact him or let him contact you. why does it look so simple but yet its so hard at the same time. i dont know what to say or do but i know i can stop myself and count on my friends to help me when i am weak and keep me focused and strong. 

past please stay in the past and let me live my present and have a great future to look forward to.